Wounded

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The Education of Achilles by Chiron by Pierre Puget, 1690

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.A heart attack is a deeply wounding event.

I have been struggling with this never-ending wound for more than a year, and still it haunts me by the hour.

A heart attack is also a deeply isolating event; others act as if their lives will go on forever. How can I participate in this charade, knowing deeply and irrevocably that any moment could be the last one? I feel much more in common with people with terminal illness than those who are caught up in the illusion of every day life.


To reduce the isolation and find a way (with the help of blog readers) through this purgatory, I thought I would post some my musings on the Web.



I am fascinated and struck by the myth of Chiron, that mythical Centaur who had a permanent wound that would not heal. In Puget's painting, Achilles is being dragged by his rationality (his head), and it doesn't look like there is much he can do about it.
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"Ducunt volentem fata, nolentem trahunt."

("Fate leads the willing, the unwilling it drags.")

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Not particularly wanting to be trahunted, I have to figure out just where this heart attack is leading me.